Why can't you change 20 dollars? You drive all day!
- We go get change. - No, you have to break this.
Hi!
Hi... Can you break a 20?
Repeat after me: "Keep the change."
- Keep the change. - Thank you.
- Oh my God, the boat! - Oh, no! Wait!
I suppose your wife is...
She's in her element. Stockbrokers, accountants. She'll enjoy it.
- What about you? - I hate boats. I'm relieved.
- I think this is sturgeon. - Definitely not.
- It's like velvet. - Scottish salmon. The very best.
More champagne?
- It's not bad, for a Californian. - You're not kidding. Fooled me.
- This is living. - And it's just beginning.
- You can say that again! - And it's just beginning.
Thank you.
It's a pleasure to have you here. A cocktail? Some champagne?
Champagne? Champagne.
- You decided not to be an actress? - I decided to become a waitress.
I had the "tress" part right.
And I was a great waitress.
I saw you bought the place.
- I passed by the other day. - And you didn't come in?
Well, I... I figured you were busy.
Please, you have to come in and see what I did.
I have a table with your name on it, for people who can't afford a meal.
Of course. After what you did.
What I did? I made a promise and I kept it, period.
- Most people would do the same. - Nobody would!
Are you kidding? What you did was like a fairy tale.
And everyone gets to live happily ever after?
- Well, that's a hopeful sight. - You think?
I always wonder... What's in store for them?
Are they going to be happy?
If she puts on 50 pounds, will he love her anyway?
- How long were you married? - Three years.
To an actor named Eddie.
Who suggested, if we had a child, that we name him Al Pacino.
- Al Pacino Biasi. - Come on!
Muriel and I met in high school, in one of those cooking classes -
- where the boys dress like chefs. And there might be a fire drill...
- And you're outside in your aprons? - Exactly. Even now, I get chills.
Anyhow, we started dating, and...
Muriel was the first girl I ever...
Really?
- Oh. Well, that's sweet. - I guess.
We went to get the marriage licence, and there was this other couple...
Orthodox Jews. It was an arranged marriage.
They weren't allowed to see each other. They couldn't get a glimpse.
And I thought, "They don't even know if they're attracted."
"They don't know if they've got anything to talk about."
Now, ten years later, I bet they're happily married with six kids.
But Muriel and I have nothing to say. I don't know what happened.
We're on two different channels. I'm CN N, she's "Home Shopping".
How would you feel about dancing?
Oh, I'd... be in favour of it.
When I was on night shift, I felt like an explorer.
There's this whole other city that goes on all night long.
- Am I talking incessantly? - Yes.
But I like it. I myself am a talker.
It's nice to meet somebody you can just talk with, and hang with.
Look... here's the thing. I'm free all the time, basically.
So if you ever want to do something, or you want company...
Really? How about tomorrow?
- Too soon? - No, not at all.
Okay, great. I'll have Carol watch the register, -
- and you could pick me up at noon?
I'll be there.
Goodnight.
Weirdest thing happened. I thought I'd dropped my wallet.
Weirdest thing happened. I came out because I felt seasick.
Weirdest thing happened...
- I have some ideas for you... - Weirdest thing happened.
Wasn't the veal fabulous?
That was what was so weird. I expected chicken.
I would have come sit with you, but Mr. Gross...
Jack Gross. Pleased to meet you, Officer.
He's going to help us develop an economic strategy.
- What a great idea. - She's some girl. Smart.
Beautiful... And she knows what she wants.
- See? - I agree.
Thank you very much for a very stimulating evening, Mr. Gross.
- If you ever need any advice... - I will be calling.
Ready?
- I got to get my coat. - Bye-bye.
- You're doing great! - I never had great balance.
I tried skiing. They threw me off the "Peter Rabbit" slope.
- Your knees. That's the problem. - One of them!
There's a little bit of a hill here, so you might want to watch it.
- Slow down! - I can't.
- Sure you can! - Sure I can't!
Charlie, turn!
- Are you okay? - Fine.
I'll catch leprosy from the water, but otherwise I'm okay.
So I guess this is it for you and rollerblading?
I would have to say yes.
Okay, your turn. What next? What do you want to do?
Ladies and gentlemen, I've just won the lottery.
Tonight's ride home is on me and Miss Yvonne Biasi.
- What's going on? - They're treating everybody.
- This is going to be hard to top. - I'll top it.
Welcome to Charlie Lang, Yvonne Biasi, -
- Officer Bo Williams -
- and all the kids from Woodside, Queens.
I know, I know. I'm trying.
It was a great day for me, too.
- What the hell is she doing? - She's pissed, whatever it is.
- Congratulations, Mr. Token Man. - Oh God!
- Honey, I'm home. - No, you have to leave.
- Stop eating my macadamia nuts! - Give me a kiss.
- You can't stay here. Out! - Why? You expecting company?
Not Officer Krupke, the saintly cop?
There's nothing going on. And he's not a saint, -
- simply a decent human being. Something you couldn't...
If you eat one more of those...
- Are you having an affair? - No, we just hang out together.
You should have heard that bitch downstairs talking about it.
What's the real issue here? Us, or what some idiot neighbour thinks?
It's been like a cold war. If I try to talk about it, you...
- I just tried to make you happy. - No, that's not all.
I used to come home, and you'd hug me.
You'd kiss me and ask how my day was. When did you do that last?
It's not important. It's history.
- You go around with this girl! - I'm not having an affair.
This thing between you and the cop is none of my business.
But... there is one thing that's very important. This:
Don't be afraid.
"The Eddie Biasi Players!"
You want money. Of course you want money.
Just fifty grand in seed money. Then we're off. Picture this...
Of course not. Not Mr. Saintly. You're too good to have an affair.
I'm just so sick of it! Your niceness and decency.
You're nothing. A working-class stiff. Blue collar all the way.
I'm not gonna change, Muriel.
I know.
- So I want a divorce. - You want a divorce?
As soon as possible.
I have wings, Charlie. I want to fly.
Honey?
The bottom line is, I'm sticking around until you kick in.
You stick around. I'm out of here.
Where are you going, big shot? The Plaza?
Yeah, the Plaza.
If you're here when I get back, I'll call the cops.
And believe me, I am now in a position to get them to come.
- Where you going? - A hotel.
- You mean, you and her... - We're history.
- Can't say I'm surprised. - No? It's funny, I am.
No matter what comes before, you don't expect this.
- What hotel, Charlie? - The Holiday Inn on Ninth.
Holiday Inn? Charlie, you won the lottery.
One night at least, stay at the Plaza.
Maybe I will. You're a real pal, you know that?
I'll see you guys.
Good evening.
I'd like to get a room.
I'm not that waitress, if that's what you're thinking.
I didn't think so.
- Single or double? - A single.
- Smoking or non-smoking? - Non-smoking.
Sir, can I help you?
- He moved back in. - She threw me out.
811 is this way, ma'am.
Sir? If you'll just follow me...
- That was the cop. - That's the waitress.
Checked your bathroom yet? There's a robe.
- Are you serious? - Swear to God!
- Well... goodnight. - Come in.
Unbelievable! Your room is exactly like mine, just a different colour.
Would you like some fruit?
You have some in your room. Every room probably has fruit.
- There's really a robe? - Terry cloth.
Nice... really nice.
It's for sale. You can buy it for like $100. I think it's $100.
I'll do it.
I'll split it with you. We'll share. You have it one month, then me...
- Or every other day, or weekends. - Or we could get two.
- Why am I so nervous? - I don't know.
- We've spent so much time together. - Maybe that's why.
Here we go...
There they are!
- Unbelievable! - Make yourselves comfortable.
- I mean, I've seen some offices... - Walter, please.
They must charge you an arm and a leg. Just the chairs...
- A glass of water? - Real leather. I thought so.
- Where's Muriel? - Mrs. Lang just stepped out.
And here she is.
- You had them done. - Had what done?
- Can we proceed? - What did she have done?
- I'll tell you later. - Let's cut to the chase.
The lottery money should not be divided. It was Mrs. Lang's ticket.
- Completely unacceptable. - It's all right.
She can have my half.
Come here.
Are you nuts? You're giving up without a fight?
She can have my half, period.
- You're talking a million dollars! - Walter, please!
You got to be kidding me!
- We concede the point. - That's a very mature attitude.
As to their pre-lottery holdings, we have a bank account totalling...
...$3,611. I insist we split this 50-50.
Chump change.
That's basically it. There's furnishings, some good linens...
Not quite accurate, Mr. Zakuto.
We are also attaching the monies given by Mr. Lang to Miss Biasi.
That is out of bounds!
Mr. Lang volunteered his wife's earnings without her consent.
That's horrible, Muriel. Please, think about what you're doing.
We believe that he and Miss Biasi had a long-standing relationship -
- that he deliberately deceived his wife about.
And we have drafted a letter to Miss Biasi -
- demanding that she return the money in full, or face penalties.
- I can't believe this! - I can't listen to this screaming.
- Our whole marriage was like this. - It was not.
Is this just to get even with Yvonne?
I am tired of your physical abuse. Did you see that?
If you fellows need a cab, my secretary will call one.
How am I going to say this to Yvonne?
You'll have to stop seeing her for a while.
This is Yvonne Biasi. Please leave a message after the beep.
Yvonne, I just wanted to say I'm thinking about you.
We'll win this, because it's right. It's not your fault.
I'm at Bo's at 555-3840. I guess I'll see you in court.
I hope you don't mind sleeping on the floor.
- There's beer in the fridge. - Thanks for the blanket, Tracey.
Goodnight, Gail. I'm sorry.
"The trial, which has attracted citywide interest, begins today."
- This whole thing is unbelievable! - My money's on Yvonne.
- What are your birthday's numbers? - 12, 16, 64.
12... 16... 64.
And the numbers for your anniversary, my dear?
6, 26, 84.
6, 26...
Did I hear 26?
As a matter of fact, weren't you married on the 27th?
- Yes. - So your husband picked 26?
- Objection. What's the point? - The point is, Counsellor...
The point is, Your Honour... I am demonstrating -
- that Mr. Lang is responsible for the winning ticket.
Overruled.
So, Mrs. Lang, your husband picked the 26th on his own, correct?
- No. - No?
There was you... there was your husband...
Who else was there that morning?
My dead father.
- Excuse me? - My dead father, God rest his soul.
He came to me in a dream. "Baby", he said, floating out the window.
He had these big angel wings, the perfect colour of white leather.
He says, "Baby, it's time to go to the church. You'll be late."
To my shock, I'm standing there in my wedding gown.
So I run down Queen's Boulevard, through Flatbush... impossible!
I came to the church: St. Catherine's of the Holy Lotto.
And then I realised I wasn't late, I was a whole day early.
God, I wanted to die!
Then my father was standing right next to me.
And he says, "Little girl, don't cry."
"Because to me, your anniversary will always be on the 26th."
M U Rl EL'S DREAM DEAD FATH ER PICKED Wl N N ERS
Mr. Lang.
Have you ever purchased nail polish remover for your wife?
Quiet, please!
Nail polish remover?
- A couple of times, I guess. - And you paid for it?
Did you therefore consider it yours?
No, I guess I didn't.
Did you force your wife to split the ticket with Miss Biasi?
I only said we should do the right thing.
- Were you wearing a gun? - Of course not.
- You hit her, didn't you? - I never, ever...
You are under oath, Mr. Lang!
- Okay, once I grabbed her arm... - No further questions.
Your witness, Counsellor.
Miss Biasi. Would you describe your financial circumstances -
- before Mr. Lang offered you half his wife's winning ticket?
I was struggling to make ends meet.
Isn't it a fact you owed $12,000 on your MasterCard?
- That's because my ex-husband... - Just answer yes or no.
Technically, yes. But I hadn't overspent.
Didn't you go bankrupt the same day he offered to split the ticket?
Yes. But that was just... fate.
- Right, fate... - Yes. Really.
What was your relationship with Mr. Lang when he made his offer?
- I'd never met him before. - Really?
Yes, really.
Describe your relationship with Mr. Lang today.
I love him more than anything in the world.
And you went to the Plaza with him the day he left his wife.
- Objection! What is the relevancy? - Motivation.
Mrs. Lang had thrown him out, the marriage was in ruins...
They're trying to make me into a gold-digger... him, the media...
Control yourself, please.
I've worked all my life. Finally something wonderful happened.
I met a man who was intelligent, kind and compassionate.
Just knowing him has changed my life. It's not the money.
He made me believe people were fundamentally decent.
I won't let some lawyer make our relationship look ugly.
Are you divorced?
You're married to one man, and in love with another.
- I couldn't afford to get divorced. - Well, that's convenient!
In dramatic testimony, Yvonne Biasi was depicted -
- as a gold-digging nymphomaniac. A verdict is expected tonight.
- Has the jury reached a verdict? - We have, Your Honour.
What say you?
We rule in favour of the plaintiff, Mrs. Muriel Lang, on all counts.
The court would like to thank the jury for its service.
Court dismissed.
- About your affair with... - Shut up about her!
She's down there.
Yvonne!
- Mrs. Lang? Your reaction? - Justice was done.
Aren't the good deeds of your husband...
- We're happy, that's all. - Very happy.
I don't even know where she is.
Look... You'll be a cop again. It's what you love.
I'll be all right.
Is anyone here?
Go away.
- You don't want to be with me. - What are you talking about?
- I love you. - Don't you get it?
- I've ruined your life. - I feel like half of me is missing.
You won $4 million. Do you know what an amazing gift that is?
And because of me you have nothing.
Because of you, I have you. Why can't you understand?
If you don't want me, then I'll walk out that door forever.
But please stop talking about the money. It means nothing to me.
Do you want me to go?
No.
Never.
Never, never.
You have to excuse me sometimes, it's just...
Nobody ever loved me before.
- I guess he wants some food. - Shall we invite him in?
Why not?
We should leave New York.
I mean, we're like freaks here.
I've got a cousin that lives in Buffalo.
He keeps asking me to visit.
Maybe we can stay there for a while.
I could join the Buffalo force.
I could be a Buffalo waitress.
Tonight, I, Angel Dupree, photographer for the N. Y. Post, -
- had the chance to study grace and generosity in dire circumstances.
In their darkest hour, the stalwart officer and good-hearted waitress -
- shared a bowl of soup with me.
When I left, the good Samaritan gave me money, -
- wishing it could be more.
- "Mail it to Yvonne's Coffee Shop." - It's a good idea.
I just want to make one stop.
- Sweetie... - I'm okay.
- I knew this was a bad idea. - I just wanted to see it again.
Why is the gate open?
I don't know. Well, Carol has a key...
The door's stuck.
- What is this? - It must be a mistake.
- "The Good Samaritan's Fund". - "Lotto Lovers".
"Yvonne's Coffee Shop."
- It's five dollars. - Oh, come on!
"There should be more people like you. Ethel from Staten Island."
Here's a cheque for ten.
This is all for us. Oh, Charlie!
"You are an example to all of us. Betty and Phil. The Bronx."
"We hope you have a great future. The Garcias, Long Island City."
It took them three days to open all their mail.
When they were done, New York had given them a $600, 000 tip.
Charlie went back to the force.
Yvonne got her coffee shop back.
Eddie could only get work driving a cab.
And Muriel... She married Jack Gross, -
- who took her money and fled the country.
Muriel lives in the Bronx now and works in a nail salon.
Charlie, Muriel and Yvonne all lived in a city -
- where people prayed for miracles. And sometimes they happened.